ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
