Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
