Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize