Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize