Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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