Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
