grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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