There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
