i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
