If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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