I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
