She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
