The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
