So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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