So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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