I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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