Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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