don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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