You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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