I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
