i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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