Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
