there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
