week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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