Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
