man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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