i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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