Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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