Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
