don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
