come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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