You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
