I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
