someone get that fucking seahorse.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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