when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
