who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
