so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
