Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
