just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
