I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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