bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
