so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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