Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you inspire me to be a worse person
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
