doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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