How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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