First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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