I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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