You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm really busy with my period
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