There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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