JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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