Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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