Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
