Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
