..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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