As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
