you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
