It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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