Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
