His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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