just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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