using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
