No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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