ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
