Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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