HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I came so hard my ears popped.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
