what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
