Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he had hair everywhere except his balls
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
