this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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