Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
