community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
