Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize