I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think my moral compass just broke
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
