carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this just has baby written all over it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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