Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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